Latest Funny Quotes in Urdu 2020

Latest Funny Quotes in Urdu 2020Sardar Latest Funny Quotes in Urdu / funny Shayari Urdu sms 2020

Sardar: I haven’t slept all nite on the train.
Friend: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y didn’t u exchanged?
Sardar: Oye, there was nobody
2 exchange in lower birth…
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Funny Shayari Urdu msg 2020

An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor

when they begin forgetting little things.

Their doctor tells them that many people

find it useful to write themselves little notes.

When they get home, the wife says,

“Dear, will you please go to the kitchen

and get me a dish of ice cream?

And maybe write that down so you won’t forget?”

“Nonsense,” says the husband,

“I can remember a dish of ice cream.”

“Well,” says the wife, “I’d also like some

strawberries and whipped cream on it.”

“My memory’s not all that bad,

” says the husband. “No problem — a dish of ice cream

with strawberries and whipped cream.

I don’t need to write it down.”

He goes into the kitchen;

his wife hears pots and pans banging around.

The husband finally emerges from the kitchen

and presents his wife with a plate of bacon and eggs.

She looks at the plate and asks,

“Hey, where’s the toast I asked for?”

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66) Father To Son: Nalaik Parosi ki Larki ko dekh wo First aai hay. Son: Aur kitna dekhon usi ko dekh dekh k hi to Fail huwa hun.

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67) Father to son: Agr iss bar tu Fail huwa to mujhe apna baap mat kehna. Next Day. Father: kya bna result ka Beta: Bs Mushtaaq bhai kuch na poocho.

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68) Father: Jao beta mery lye 1 glaas pani ly k ao, Beta: Abu me nai ja skta me game khel raha hon, 2sra Beta: Chorye abu ye tu he hi bdtemiz , Ap khud ja k pani p len.

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69) Funny Ghazal: Jab se begam ne mujhe Murgha bana rakha hay mane nazron ki tarah sar b jhuka rakha hay, Barton aj mer sar pe baraste Q ho? Mane dho dho k tmhe kitna saja rakha hay,Roz leti ha Talashi wo police ki tarah, Puchti hay kaha paiso ko chupa rakha hay, Wohi duniya me Muqadar ka sikandar thehra, Jis ne khud ko yahan shadi se bacha rakha hay, P ja is maar ki Talkhi ko b hans kr Faraz, Maar khane me b Qudrat ne maza rakha hay.

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70) Girl : Meri 1,1 sans pe 1,1 Larka mrta hay. Boy: To tm koi acha sa tooth paste use Q nai krti.

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71) Girl: Kya tum mere Aashiq ho? Boy: Haan hun, Girl: To phir mujhe 1000 ka Easay Load bhej do. Boy: Main Tumhara Aashiq hun “Jazz” walon ka Damaad nahi.

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72) Girlfriend: Main Apna Purse gar bhool aai, Menu 1000 Rupay chahiday C. Sardar: Dost hi dost de kam aanda a, Le 40 Rupay Riksha phar te Purse la aa.

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73) Girl Pathan se: Jab aap k pass Mobile ha aur mere pas b hay to aap ne Letter Q bheja, Pathan: O hum ne tmko call kiya tha us me Larki boli Plz Try Letter.

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74) Girl: Mama Mard or Khusray me kia faraq hay? Mama: Dekh beti msg perhne wale ne msg perh k reply kia to wo “Mard” warna “Khusra” hoga…

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75) Ghareeb samjh kr hume sms krne chor diye us ne “Faraz”, kya gharbon k mobile me inbox nhi hota.

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76) Girl: Ap ko Thand lgi hay to kya krte ho? Sheikh: Heater k pass ja kr beth jata hun. Girl: Agr phir b thand lage to? Sheikh: To phir Heater “On” kr leta hun.

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Sardar Latest Funny Quotes in Urdu 

77) Girl : Ye jo samne Larka betha hai iska naam kya hay. Waiter: Ye Bush sahib hay. Girl: Ye mjhe 1 Ghente se pershaan kr rhe hain. Waiter: Mgr wo to apki trf dekh hi nahi rahe hain.Girl: Yehi to pershani hay . Moral: Duniya Naik logo ko jeene nai deti.

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78) Girl: Meri ek ek sans pe ek ek larka marta hy……… Boy: To tum koi acha sa toth paste use koi nahi karti…

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79) Girl: Najomi sab mere 2 Boy Friend hay, Meri kis k 7 shadi ho gi, kon wo khush baseeb ho ga. Najoomi: Pehle wale k 7 shadi hogi Dusra khush naseeb hoga.

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80) Hume apno ne luta Gairo me kya dam tha, Meri saans wahan ruki jaha Hisptaal band tha, Jis Embolance me dala mjhe uska Petrol hi kam tha, Mjhe rikshay me iss liye bithaya kio k uska Karaya kam tha, Mjhe Doctor ne uthaya naras me kya dam tha, Jis bed pe latya mjhe us k neeche Bobm tha, Mjhe Bobm se urraya Goli me kya dam tha, Mjhe sarrak pr Dafnaya Qk us din Qabrstan me Function tha.

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81) Husbend: Begham Khana tayar nahi hua abhi? Begum: Nai g, Thori dair baqi hay, Husband: Theek ha main bahir se kha leta hun, Begum: Bas 5 mint ruk jaen. Husband: 5 mnt me Khana tayar ho jae ga? Beghum: nahi Main Tayar ho jao gi.

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82) Husbend Shopping kr k Aya Wife ne Darwaaza khola. Husbend: ye Dibba utha lo. Wife: Iss me zarur mere khane ki hi koi cheez ho gi. Husbend: Han mere Jootey hay.

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83) Husbend to Hotal Mangar: Jaldi chalo Meri Bv Khirki se kud kr jaan dena chahti hay. Mangar: TO ma kya karun, Husbend: Kamine Khirki nahi khul rahi.

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84) Husbend: Kal mere Khwab me ek Lrki aai thi, Wahh kya larki thi.Wife: Akeli aai hogi, Husbend: Tmko kaise pta, Wife: uska Husbend mere khwab me aaya tha.

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85) Jane kese jeety hain log yaadon k sahare…… Main to 1 sawal yaad kr k soti hun, Who b subha ko bhool jati hun…

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86) Jin kya hukam hay Bilawal: Pak se Usa tak road bnao, Jin: Bht mushkal koi or kam batao Bilawal: Mere baap ko insaan bnao Jin: Road single bnao ya Double.

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87) Judge said to sardar: Tm par cycle chori ka ilzaam sabit nahi howa, Lahaza tm ko ba-izzat bari kiya jata hay, Sardar: Eda mtlb main cycle rakh lawan.

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88) Kisi ne Dil badla, Kisi ne Dharkan badl li, Kisi ne Dost badla to kisi ne Mohabat badl li . Tere paas badlne k leye kuch na tha tu ne Masjid ja k Chappal badl li…

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89) Kehte hay ishq me neend urr jati hay koi humse b to ishq kare, Kambakht hummein neend bht aati hay.

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Very Funny Quotes in Urdu 2020 

Khofnaak kahani: Andheri rat me rufani barish me ek budha footpath pe khara ek kitab bech raha tha, Ek admi aya or us se kitab ki Qeemat poochi, us budhay ne kaha 3000/- rupees Admi : is ki koi khaas baat? Budha : Iska akhri page mat parhna wrna chehra higar jaye ga. Admi ne wo kitab khareed li or chala gya, us ne bht darr or khof se wo kitab parhi mgr akhri page chor diya kahi saal baad usne socha k akhir dekhun to sahi k akhri page pe kiya hy? Usne darte darte page khola to uski ankhein khuli hi khuli reh gai or chehra bigar gya QK kitab ki Qeemat 30/- Rupee thi…

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91) Load shedding ki Tension. 1 Admi rat ko apne ghr gya, Darwaza knock kiya BV: kon? Admi : Guddu da abu. BV: Haaye ma mr jawan te fer andar kon ay.

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92) Larki: Janu kuch aisa kaho na jis se meri Dil ki dharkan teiz ho jaye, Mera Dil zor zor se dharke, muje kuch kuch ho, Larka: Nassssss tera Abba aa gya e .

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93) Lahore vs Nankana . Mante hain k Lahore Lahore hai, Pr nankana uska shohar hai, Agr lhr me lrkiyan aam hay, To nankana k lrko ka b nam hay, Agr lhr lrke larne me kam nai, To peeche hatne wale hm b nai, Jitna lhr hai, Utna to nankana me sirf beri wala hai. Agr koi tmse kahe k khaak hai Nankana , to bol dena India ka baap hay nankana. Geo Nankana.

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94) Lux walo ne mjh se 5 Cror ka sawal pocha “Pakistan” me aisa kon hy jo 1 saal me 1 bar nahaata hay? Yaqeen kro 5 cror pe laat mri di mgr tmhara naam nahi btaya.

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95) Larka : Tm kitni haseen ho. Larki: Choro na . Larka: Tmari aankhein kitni haseen hai.Larki: choro na tm b. Larka: Itni dair se chor hi to raha hun.

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96) Larka: Molvi sahib kya Girl friend k 7 sona Hraam hai? Molvi: Beta bat Hraam ya Halaal ki nahi hai. Masla yeh hai k tum log sote nai ho…

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97) Master: Duniya Gol hai! Sardar: Aap kehtay hai to maan leta hun …Warna papa kehtay hain k Duniya Bari Pain Chod hai…

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98) Maraasi Sardio me kaise Nahate hai? Sheeshy k samne khare hote hay Phir Sheeshy pe Pani Phenk kr kehte hay “Oye Mar gai Enna Thanda pani”.

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99) Malik nokar se mane tujhe kaha tha k Chaawal Murghi k bache ko khilana tu Bili ko kio khila raha hay, Nokar Murghi ka bacha Bili k Pait me hay.

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100) Main zindgi bhar jis larki ko chahta raha, Aj us ka beta bola…..Daddy muje school chor do na….. Moral: Har koi teri tarha Mamo nahi banta……

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Comedy Urdu – Hindi SMS Messages

1 admi apne dost k Ghr gya,
bell bjane pr chota sa Bacha bahr nkla.
Admi:
Beta apky Abu ghr pe hn?
Bcha:
Ji wo to bzar gye hn.
Admi:
Acha apny brray bhai ko bulao.
Bcha:
Wo to cricket khelne gya h.
Admi:
Acha tumhari Ami to ghr pe hi hongi?
Bcha:
Ji wo apni saheliyon k 7 Picnic pr gai hn.
Admi: (gussy se):
To beta aap Ghr me Q bethe ho? Aap b kahin jao.
Bcha:
“Mein B apne dost k Ghr aya hua hun”

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Aladin Lamp Comedy English SMS

I Found Aaladin’s Lamp
I Asked Him to Increase
Your Brain Ten Times More..
He Laughed & told
Multiplication Does Not Apply On Zero.. !

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Funny English SMS Messages

One minute without frnds is equal to
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60 seconds.
No need to bo emotional every time